sensitive female, pretty much harder
sensitive female who is having her final exam in a medical masters degree tomorrow !!
Oh dear, someone please tell me how I am supposed to get through this
I feel "too small and too vulnerable"
this puts me in the (give up / man up) conflict
(and I think)
Man up !!!!!
wait a second ..... why is this any sex related?
(here I say to myself to give it a rest)
It is my third cup of coffee for this morning and it's still 11 am
how the hell did I get myself in here, everyone around thinks I'm doing good, but I just want to break down and cry ... it has been a long time since I last broke down, it was at my 3rd year med school, then one of my male friends brought me one of his shirts and simply told me :
man up young lady it's a long way to go, and you can do it
can I !!!
I remember the smell of his shirt, it was immersed in a manly sweat, awful but full of power
many times when I was young I wished if I were a boy, I used to wear my brother's clothes pretending to be strong in front of the mirror, I climbed trees, played football in the
street till I became 19, smoked pipe, tried alcohol and drugs with my male friends at college .. but I never became a boy
I studied too hard at med school and never became a boy
I worked in all the hard, inhuman conditions
still didn't become a boy ... and so, never became enough to myself or anyone here
that is the main reason now I am making this masters, to try finding a job anywhere abroad where being a female is not any disability
sensitive female is pretty much required
sensitive female with a master in medicine .. is an outstanding achievement :)
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