The cave man complex

I have a sin to confess

well .. sin is a bit of a strong word

I just need to tell someone about my erotic fantasies

I have these urges for dark skinned, hairy, men
men with long hair and slightly shaved sexy beard 
clumsy, reckless, careless men who like to walk bare feet

its like, today I saw this guy

and I wanted to tear all of his clothes with my teeth

and his dark hairy sweaty skin is totally blended with mine

acting out all my animal wild sexual fantasies

that is not the confession though, it would be normal if I am not living in one of the most conservative places on Earth

if I started acting upon this ... I might get killed

marriage type of guys and marriage sex doesn't turn me on at all to be honest

sex is a one thing, love is another thing, and living your whole life with someone is a total different thing

I don't have feelings for anyone, I lost faith in commitment a long time ago, then I lost faith in love ... and lovers

so its just friendship and sex that's left now for me

trying to leave the country .. seriously since I can't remember

but I am really not sure if I can hold it back any more

ugh

I see these guys and I just can't help it thinking, wondering geeeeez what it would be like with him or him or him.... ... ..

I like to believe its just a phase

had to get it off my chest though
feeling better already